The World is Your Oyster

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson. My best friend, Rachel, sent this to me on a special day x

I have a wonderful support circle; and a select number of people in my life who I know truly believe in me. Not just on the surface, but deep inside. They encourage me to follow my dreams, to make choices in my life they feel I truly want deep down inside my heart and soul. They feel and see my dreams, because the confidence that I don't see in myself, they do. They don't force me, to try and walk in that direction, or make me feel bad for not making the choices to take those leaps, or those "right" choices, instead, they believe that I will make the necessary steps when I am ready. They walk with me when I am not ready, and support me through and through, because they know that when the time is right, when I am ready to see me for my worth, I will start to fly. I am indescribably grateful for these wonderful people, because in all honesty, through all my highs, and all my lows, they have never left my side. And that is why, I share my dreams with them, and give them all my love. They know who they are, because they are walking this journey with me. i love you guys x

When Life seems to turn upside down...

... smile with teeth and it will never look like a frown!

A naked Llama, big mamajama aubergines and a whole lot of love kept me smiling today.

Gratitude

To the Doctor who gave me 10 minutes after his Monday evening shift, and laughed at me after I asked him "Did you just make that illness up?" You made my Tuesday morning, an extra special one. The sun shone brightly; to my left, to my right, to the road ahead and the path I left behind.

To the panel of women who gave a total of 3 hours to approximately 2000 other women - you made me realise how much I absolutely love food. 30 minutes in all I could think about was what kinds of food I'd happily devour. You inspired me and taught me I have the ability to concentrate and dream about my lifetime goals and think about food all at once. I truly am a multi-tasker.

To the waiter who gave me first dibs and always came to me first with the horderves and constantly kept my wine glass filled just because I said "thank you". You made my tummy smile.

To the cab driver who couldn't be bothered to take me to an ATM, your lack of greed, abundance of kindness, and lack of interest in your job gave me the CHEAPEST cab journey ever. £3.10... Plus a £8 receipt for travel expenses. Unrequested, but I'll have £5 left for you at the front desk.

The art of SMS.

Dad your constant chatter.

Mum your warm hugs.

To the fat joke that dried the tears, and allowed two sisters to laugh together again.

To the rain that fell when I needed it to.

A minchin who gives me joy.

Naked Men in Marble Arch. Gross. You shouldn't be on this list, but you made me giggle.

To the man in starbucks who allowed his partner to sit there and listen to him talk to his friends on the phone during an argument they were having. You're a dick. But I know I will never settle, the way she said she could, for a man who uses his power to keep her heart. Nor will I eavesdrop.

My best friend. She's golden. She can dry my tears from the words "Awh sis"

To my BFF who never fails to take the time to send me love. Even when he's on his first vacation since ages. Your happiness is contagious.

Sundays.

The Floacist, Raheem De Vaughn - Start Again. Big in so many ways.... <3

A heart filled with gratitude will take you far. That's why, and how, I know I am more than OK.

My body is not me but mine, and, my mind is not me but mine

It was like I had two magnets - one in each of my palms, repelling one another. The force was prominent and so it made me want to bring my hands closer to each other every time I could feel the magnetism. It was literally like having a ball of atmosphere in between my hands. It was amazing! I didn't want to lose the energy. What was probably 5 minutes of my day felt so much longer and for that period of time, I knew nothing else but this amazing force between my hands that reached deeper within me repelling all negativity and attracting clarity to my mind and body. 

One hour split between focusing on my body and my mind - every week I am amazed more than the week before. I wish I could share the experience. With everyone. Everyone.

Including you. 

Love

At times of adversity, when you think you're fine, what is it about hearing a Mother's voice that makes you just break down? All of a sudden, you can actually hear you're inner voice saying "You're not OK.... but that's OK". Like, no matter what, your heart can break, but it doesn't add up to the fact that you still have your Mum to carry you through the tough times. You could be in silence, but she knows you're hurting. Her love for you doesn't even require you to talk about the pain. She's just there for you; through a hug, through kind words, kind gestures, or, a phone call just to say "Hello".

I love her.

I wish she knew just how much.

P.S To my loved ones who have lost their Mum's - I'm sorry if you've ever seen me treat my Mum in ways she doesn't deserve. I cannot imagine a world without her, and to you all, I have the utmost admiration for your strengths.

Wrong Side of a Love Song

If you follow me on Tumblr, you'd have seen my new video post =).

I'm trying to have fun with my singing. It used to be my favourite thing to do, and I guess, that's because I was doing it all the time. Every weekend for most of my childhood. And then, I grew older and somehow allowed others to get to me. I suddenly cared about what everyone thought about me on stage. I lost my confidence and then for years and years, it wasn't fun anymore. Well, that's changed. I'm having fun again =) Even if it's just in my living room. 

xLoveSong

Red Boots & Blue Dress

365 days ago, I put on my red boots and a blue dress. I walked out into the rain and spent the entire day exploring London, with my best friend. Attached to a slab of communication, she queried the newfound smile, but, I was in denial of a truth that has now brought me to where I am now. Isn't it ironic? What would be of my today if I hadn't worn that smile that was a mixture of denial and a happiness that would evolve?

Red Boots.
Blue Dress.
Smile.
Instagram.

= An Opened Door to a destination I don't know where. 

xRacheljoy