Saturday, July 27, 2013

The World is Your Oyster

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson. My best friend, Rachel, sent this to me on a special day x



















I have a wonderful support circle; and a select number of people in my life who I know truly believe in me. Not just on the surface, but deep inside. They encourage me to follow my dreams, to make choices in my life they feel I truly want deep down inside my heart and soul. They feel and see my dreams, because the confidence that I don't see in myself, they do. They don't force me, to try and walk in that direction, or make me feel bad for not making the choices to take those leaps, or those "right" choices, instead, they believe that I will make the necessary steps when I am ready. They walk with me when I am not ready, and support me through and through, because they know that when the time is right, when I am ready to see me for my worth, I will start to fly. I am indescribably grateful for these wonderful people, because in all honesty, through all my highs, and all my lows, they have never left my side. And that is why, I share my dreams with them, and give them all my love. They know who they are, because they are walking this journey with me. i love you guys x


Monday, June 10, 2013

When Life seems to turn upside down...

... smile with teeth and it will never look like a frown!



A naked Llama, big mamajama aubergines and a whole lot of love kept me smiling today.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Gratitude

To the Doctor who gave me 10 minutes after his Monday evening shift, and laughed at me after I asked him "Did you just make that illness up?" You made my Tuesday morning, an extra special one. The sun shone brightly; to my left, to my right, to the road ahead and the path I left behind.

To the panel of women who gave a total of 3 hours to approximately 2000 other women - you made me realise how much I absolutely love food. 30 minutes in all I could think about was what kinds of food I'd happily devour. You inspired me and taught me I have the ability to concentrate and dream about my lifetime goals and think about food all at once. I truly am a multi-tasker.

To the waiter who gave me first dibs and always came to me first with the horderves and constantly kept my wine glass filled just because I said "thank you". You made my tummy smile.

To the cab driver who couldn't be bothered to take me to an ATM, your lack of greed, abundance of kindness, and lack of interest in your job gave me the CHEAPEST cab journey ever. £3.10... Plus a £8 receipt for travel expenses. Unrequested, but I'll have £5 left for you at the front desk.

The art of SMS.

Dad your constant chatter.

Mum your warm hugs.

To the fat joke that dried the tears, and allowed two sisters to laugh together again.

To the rain that fell when I needed it to.

A minchin who gives me joy.

Naked Men in Marble Arch. Gross. You shouldn't be on this list, but you made me giggle.

To the man in starbucks who allowed his partner to sit there and listen to him talk to his friends on the phone during an argument they were having. You're a dick. But I know I will never settle, the way she said she could, for a man who uses his power to keep her heart. Nor will I eavesdrop.

My best friend. She's golden. She can dry my tears from the words "Awh sis"

To my BFF who never fails to take the time to send me love. Even when he's on his first vacation since ages. Your happiness is contagious.

Sundays.

The Floacist, Raheem De Vaughn - Start Again. Big in so many ways.... <3

A heart filled with gratitude will take you far. That's why, and how, I know I am more than OK.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

My body is not me but mine, and, my mind is not me but mine


It was like I had two magnets - one in each of my palms, repelling one another. The force was prominent and so it made me want to bring my hands closer to each other every time I could feel the magnetism. It was literally like having a ball of atmosphere in between my hands. It was amazing! I didn't want to lose the energy. What was probably 5 minutes of my day felt so much longer and for that period of time, I knew nothing else but this amazing force between my hands that reached deeper within me repelling all negativity and attracting clarity to my mind and body. 

One hour split between focusing on my body and my mind - every week I am amazed more than the week before. I wish I could share the experience. With everyone. Everyone.

Including you

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Love


At times of adversity, when you think you're fine, what is it about hearing a Mother's voice that makes you just break down? All of a sudden, you can actually hear you're inner voice saying "You're not OK.... but that's OK". Like, no matter what, your heart can break, but it doesn't add up to the fact that you still have your Mum to carry you through the tough times. You could be in silence, but she knows you're hurting. Her love for you doesn't even require you to talk about the pain. She's just there for you; through a hug, through kind words, kind gestures, or, a phone call just to say "Hello".
I love her.
I wish she knew just how much.

P.S To my loved ones who have lost their Mum's - I'm sorry if you've ever seen me treat my Mum in ways she doesn't deserve. I cannot imagine a world without her, and to you all, I have the utmost admiration for your strengths.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Wrong Side of a Love Song


If you follow me on Tumblr, you'd have seen my new video post =).
I'm trying to have fun with my singing. It used to be my favourite thing to do, and I guess, that's because I was doing it all the time. Every weekend for most of my childhood. And then, I grew older and somehow allowed others to get to me. I suddenly cared about what everyone thought about me on stage. I lost my confidence and then for years and years, it wasn't fun anymore. Well, that's changed. I'm having fun again =) Even if it's just in my living room. 


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Red Boots & Blue Dress


365 days ago, I put on my red boots and a blue dress. I walked out into the rain and spent the entire day exploring London, with my best friend. Attached to a slab of communication, she queried the newfound smile, but, I was in denial of a truth that has now brought me to where I am now. Isn't it ironic? What would be of my today if I hadn't worn that smile that was a mixture of denial and a happiness that would evolve?
Red Boots.
Blue Dress.
Smile.
Instagram.

= An Opened Door to a destination I don't know where. 

xRacheljoy

Home Sweet Home




4 weekends ago, I moved into my own place. I'm still getting used to the quietness I'm greeted by every morning; not hearing my parents have a laugh (or a bicker) on a Sunday morning, not being called down for breakfast, not being shouted at because my alarm is going on for like forever. But everyday, it feels more and more like home: My home =).  If there's one thing I've learnt over the past few years - it's not possible to love anyone else if you're not able to put yourself first, and learn to love you. So this year, the focus is on Me. That way, my loved ones can have the best version of me.

xRachelJoy

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Danke Berlin....

… for giving us a memorable City weekend! Our 2012 getaway – Barcelona. 2013, brought us to Berlin. Two very different cities. Extreme opposites – the weather, the tourism, the history, the buildings, the culture.. everything! But Berlin gave us nothing short of an amazing holiday. It’s a great city. It’s not glamorous, no. But it’s full of personality, history – it’s like having hundreds of paintings on a gigantic canvas and you could just stare at it trying to figure out interpretations of whatever you wish. If you ever visit Berlin, do your research because there isn’t really a certain area where it’s all going down. I like to enjoy a city the way it’s locals would, and Berlin forces you to do that.








Thank you to my wonderful Sis and Holly. I have yet to experience a dull moment with you both. Laughter = Us. Ich Liebe Dich girlies! Berlin, Ich werde dich vermissen (‘Berlin, I will miss you’ – according to Google Translate =P..)


Photos of our adventures… here. <3

xFreschen Milken

Thursday, February 21, 2013

My Gable-end Roof.

I’d been sitting on the thought for ages, and when I say ‘ages’, I literally mean years. Something always got in the way or gave me the opportunity to make an excuse for an excuse to not go ahead with what I really wanted. Or maybe, I just wasn’t ready to fly the nest yet.

Anyway, I woke up one morning, and decided “2013 is the year. I’m going to do it!”. That day I dreamt of moving into a home with the architectural style of the Renaissance. Tall building, geometrically symmetric, large windows, gable-end roof… crow-stepped gable! Basically, like a Dutch looking building. I’ve never really been a “City” girl, though I love cities, so I also wanted it to be located near a park of some sort with a river nearby where I could hear ducks and birds singing (lol that sounds so fluffly). I found a picture, printed it off and just propped it by my bed that night…. Four weeks later, I’ve now moved into a studio apartment, and I am in love with it. I’ve not completely settled in yet, but I love it!

I spent 7 days looking for my new home. Those 7 days, I’d wake up every morning, and go to sleep every night visualising and feeling the reality of being in my new home. On the 7th day, I viewed the studio. On the 10th, I put down a deposit, and then on the third week, I moved in. It wasn’t until I actually put down the deposit that I realised the similarities the building of the studio had to the picture of the building I had printed off. Tall symmetric building, gable-end roof (not crow stepped but I can live with that J..), large window that let’s light in perfectly! I’d pictured my dream into a reality. And! The first morning I woke up in my new humble abode.. I could hear ducks….and birds singing! Exactly what I wanted. Turns out the town I have moved to is located on a river. How fun! Now, all I need is a white bicycle with a basket, and a local bakery I can ride to every morning. lol (if you know me well, that, you know I won’t be doing!).


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Kamsahamnida

I wanted to keep my high going - that feel good feeling that makes me smile from my core. I didn't want to lose it, so, I decided to go to my first Yoga class, no research, just based on the assumption (born from the media) that yoga is good for that. Search on Google, done. Found a place round the corner from home, and it happened to be the only one that did late classes. Perfect for me seeing as I do ridiculous office hours.

I never realised that there were different types of 'Yoga'. OK, so I knew there was Bikram (I did it, and disliked it. Completely.), but then I just assumed that the 'other' yoga, was all the same. Very wrong.
I, somehow, lead myself (or 'fate' did) to "Dahn Yoga". "Dahn" is Korean for "Energy". I seeked to de-stress, to relax and take up a new "hobby" to compensate for the laziness and reluctance I have for going to the gym. From the assumption I had based on Yoga, I also believed that it would help me keep a positive mind. Dahn Yoga certainly satisfies what I originally looked for, but it furthers that interest. I've always been interested in "energy". I've always been intrigued about our "chakras" and the auras we have as individuals, but no matter how much I read about it, or watched documentaries on it, I could never really comprehend. The past few years have included a lot of challenges for me. I feel like I've done pretty well with keeping my spirits high, but negativity, and loss of faith always kept me company. 2012 was a good year for me. I watched myself (and yes, I do mean like and out of body experience lol) gain more hope and confidence, and, most importantly happiness. My point is, maybe, I never comprehended with my interest in "Energy" and it's connection to well-being, simply because at those stages in my life, I simply wasn't ready. They ('they' being all the positive readings I've indulged in, 'they' being the voices in my head) say that things always come to you with perfect timing. Well, the door for Dahn Yoga, definitely opened in perfect timing. I was seeking for something to help me keep this positivity and faith, and I became acquainted with Dahn Yoga.  I'm at a point where I have said Goodbye to people who only bring bad vibes into my world. I've loving, caring and genuinely beautiful people in my life who make me happy; who make me strive to be the best version of me. This great energy surrounding me has brought me here, and I intend to keep it going.

So, dear Universe, though I've faced challenges, I'm grateful that I am where I stand now, and I look forward to the journey. Here's to a peaceful and good life, good health and happiness.

Kamsahamnida (thank you).

xRacheljoy

Monday, January 21, 2013

Empty Space

Stephane Louis made me feel like I was standing right there. Right where he stood when he took this photo. I was in the middle of Westfield somewhere, in YellowKorner. I was waiting for JenJay & Sam to meet me, but I secretly wanted them to take a little bit longer, just so I could stay a while longer looking up at this image that I had fallen in love with, within just moments of walking into this blacked out gallery I had gladly stumbled upon. The gallery definitely did it justice (as you'd expect) with it hanging up high, tilted, with lighting to make it look warmer, and inviting.



I was invited. I love it. I want to know the history of this "empty space. I want to know why Stephane Louis (I like the sound of his whole name) chose to take this photograph. I want to know where it is, and why such a beautiful space, is empty. I'm a daydreamer, yes, but I can feel the dust under my shoes as I stand 'there' ('there' being in the gallery I was literally in, or even, here on my bed as I stare at the photo all over again) looking at those tall windows (I love tall windows. I want one. In the way where I wish I could just go to a shop and buy one and then just put it in my house lol, like wallpaper or something). It makes me feel nostalgic, even though I have no connection to it; even though I have no knowledge of it.   Like someone would stand there, in the centre and smile. Bittersweet memories. I love the light shining through into the almost darkest.
OK. That's enough. I'm no expert. I just loved the experience I had when I saw it hung up high. 

In short (lol) , I was enticed by this vision. I couldn't wait to tell someone who cared. And so, I did. =)

P.S. I'm still looking at those windows.. head tilted to the left.. contemplating.

xRachel - myneckisgettingstiff

Friday, January 4, 2013

2013: SMART

Old or new, we choose to wear the shoes we walk in. Whether we choose to make the most of them and get comfortable in them no matter how many "wears" that might be, or, put them away in our shoe closet simply because we can't stomach the blisters on our feet after just a couple of wears - it's up to us; our choice. (Yes, this post is long. If you can't be bothered to read it, skip to the last paragraph, or don't. Or if you do, maybe read the next one then skip to it lol please don't).

Like many other challenges, I find that New Year's Resolutions are just like that. We have great intentions when we get acquainted with the ideas and goals we want to set, but very often, we give up and put those goals away, somewhere in our inner closets. With myself, I feel that's why I gave up with setting 'resolutions' because in my opinion (not now of course - that would make this post pointless) they became excuses to giving up. Don't get me wrong, I did set myself goals most years, but they were more general ones. Ones that didn't really need to be assessed.

This year, as a 'carry-forward' from an eventful 2012, I am bursting to make sure I expand my personal horizons, no matter how big or little they might be - I am at a point where I am motivated to finally stop procrastinating (I'm pretty sure I've said that before, but this time I really mean it! Promise. I will prove it in time lol. Ironic) and start doing the things I love to do. 

I'm sure some genius in this Universe has scientifically proven (not just stated) that Happiness makes us the Better versions of Ourselves, and in return we are better not only for ourselves but for everyone we love, and BOOM! the world is a better place (even if only in my vicinity which isn't large because I'm 5 foot nothing... or am I?.. *did you hear my tone of voice?*). THAT'S WHAT I WANT. To be the best version of ME that I can be for everyone I love and care for. A person cannot do that unless they have found happiness within them (haha, I make myself sound like I'm so not happy. I am! I promise!). 
In Short - It's time to look after myself, and do the things I love to do. For some reason, I've always held back. (Everything I said before this - is relevant! I could go on, but I don't want to bore you. 'You' -- assuming someone is actually reading this)


I'm serious about this =D. With the help of Sis, together we will make sure our goals and achievements are worked towards and are SMART. We have set our "resolutions" and have applied them to being 'SMART'. How cute is this -- we're going to assess accordingly with 'Time' and assess more specifically on a Quarterly basis - boardroom type meetings, except in cute coffee shops like Ozone in Shoreditch (CUTE! For those of you who think we're sad... I put my hand in your face. Lol)

Most bloggers, I've seen, list their goals and resolutions. I'm not going to do that (not just yet anyway). I read somewhere, with regards to what we want "Keep it private. You do not need to share this with others; manifesting works best when you keep it private". I guess it refers to external noise, such as negativity and lack of faith in what you want - I totally get this. But no worries, throughout the year, my achievements will be shared with you. In more ways than one. I will keep this blog updated. The resolutions might not be shared entirely, but the outcomes will be. :)

This year, I wear the same shoes I wore last year, except this time, I am and will always find comfort in them, and further more we will be walking more paths than ever (If Sis gets her way with me, that would also be literally speaking. She asked that 'We' do more exercise this year. In dismay I told her to suck it. Lol.)
Good Luck to Me, Sis and Everyone in this whole wide Universe who have set personal goals. 2013 is magical. I'm psychic and know this.

x'Hyper at 1am on a School night' Racheljoy-ful

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2012

2012 was an eventful year. A year that brought me happiness in many ways unimaginable. Friends stayed, friends left, friends came into my life. One thing that stuck with me - the truth of those who will always be in my life and who will always be in my heart. I am eternally grateful for the family and friends I have been blessed with, and if one thing is for certain - I am truly blessed.

I say goodbye to 2012 with a warm heart and a smile on my face, and I welcome 2013 with open arms. It's going to be an amazing year and I can't wait to share it with my loved ones.

And to end the year - nothing better than to have laughs with my girls.

my girl likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the timeeee

xBlessed with Joy